{quiz time}

I know how much we all love quizes so I have compiled a quiz for you to take to see how much you know about being the life saver at my place of employment.

1. Which of the following activities use the same arm muscles as pulling a canoe full of girls out of the water?

a. opening a mascara tube
b. shifting a car from reverse to drive
c. playing wii bowling
d. snapping your fingers
e. all of the above


2. This lovely plant shrivels up and dies when



a. you spray it with bug spray for fun
b. it smells the breath of a 12 year old girl who hasn't brushed her teeth in a week
c. it has sat in the sun for too long


3. The most common meal provided for the lifeguard is

a. grilled cheese sandwhiches
b. dutch oven chicken and rice
c. hamburgers and hotdogs
d. hoagie sandwhiches with unidentifiable meat



4. The snottiest leaders have the snottiest girls

a. True
b. False




5. A very large bus full of girls "accidently" gets too close to the edge and this happens how often?

a. Once a week
b. Never
c. Once a summer
d. It wasn't an accident, the driver was going crazy from all the screaming girls and wanted to put an end to it.
e. Not very often


6. If you are a leader at camp you know everything about my job, therefore you are entitled to whisper to the other leaders and half the girls that I don't know what I'm talking about... while I'm standing right behind you.

a. True
b. False


7. Young Women insist on getting in the canoes while its raining every time it rains. How often do they then complain about the seats/bottom of the canoes being wet?

a. Never, they know that if it's raining everything is wet
b. All the time, without fail
c. Ocassionaly, but it's mostly the dumb ones


8. The most common phrase I yell is

a. NO RUNNING!
b. SIT DOWN! RIGHT NOW!
c. YES YOU, I'M TALKING TO YOU!
d. PLEASE STOP SPLASHING WITH YOUR PADDLES!
e. SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE TODAY!
f. all of the above
g. b, c, and d
h. a, d, and e



9. It is very dangerous to get into a row boat full of leaders

a. in general. don't do it.
b. with explosives and flares in their little hands
c. who act like their 12
d. all of the above


10. Young Women and their leaders listen to you

a. All of the time
b. They only hear what they want to hear
c. Never

d. a combination of b and c




ANSWERS
1. e
2. a

3. d
4. a
5. e, but i'll give you a point for d because that is probably what really happened
6. a
7. b
8. g
9. d
10. d
11.
Now add up your score and let's see how you did!

1-3: You are terrible and should take a refresher course.
4-5: You are probably one of the snotty leaders/girls
6-8: You have gone to camp one too many times/were the lifeguard/are the mother of the lifeguard
9-10: Congratulations! you deserve the job... and the coveted whistle.


remember to always practice safe lifeguarding and tuck your pants into your rain boots!