{a story for the ages} + post edit

last night i was partaking in the joy of the Relief Society birthday bash. all sorts of fun was being had in the form of the number mingle game, duck duck goose, pin the candle on the cake, and even a pinata! and lets not forget the fact that we were all wearing our pajamas. let me tell you what, the 11th ward RS knows how to party! could the night get any better? i submit that it could not.

it was only after the games were played and the pinata was broken that things took a drastic turn. there was loads of candy spilled about the floor begging to be eaten. since everyone else was in line getting the real food, the gals that i was talking too and i bent down and picked up some goods. i unwrapped a bit o honey (possibly my favorite) and popped it in my mouth.

remember this and this?

let your imagination run wild with that one.

but incase you cant i'll tell you what happened next.

i was having a joyous time eating that delicious piece of sticky candy when the unthinkable happened. the second the tooth dislodged from its propper place i knew i was in trouble. i took one wide eyed look at my roommate and made a break for the door. i spit the dang bit o honey out and there, stuck right to it, was my crown. and where my crown was supposed to be properly placed was a throbbing pain. i tossed the piece of candy in the nearest garbage can and held open my hand for my roommate to see my perfect looking crown (it really is quite pretty). but then i freaked and didnt know what to do. i called my mother dearest who didnt answer so then i called my father. his first words were "oh dear" with that exasperated tone he sometimes has. not that he is exasperated by me, its probably just that he's exasperated. maybe it's caused by the fact that his children are adults and should be able to take care of themselves but still call him to fix it when a crisis strikes. but thats beside the point.

together he and i decided that i better find myself a dentist thats open in the middle of the night. however, those dont exist. i didnt even know where to begin finding a dentist so i did the best thing i could think to do. recruited the help of sister bishop (read: the bishops wife). she called the bishop right up and told him to start looking in the phone book for a dentist with odd hours. remember how i live in a small town? didnt happen. but he did give me the number to his dentist who i called. which led me to a number to call in case of emergencies. so i called it. and no one answered. so i tried his brother and then his other brother. and still no one answered. i thought i would give it one more try with the first of the three brothers.

and lo! the phone was answered by a pleasant sounding wife who let me speak to her pleasant sounding dentist of a husband. the nice man asked me lots of questions and i gave him lots of answers. the one question i couldnt answer was "while sleeping, do you breather through your month or nose?" i didnt konw because im not awake while im sleeping, therefore i cant tell. he told me to stick the crown back on so it would stop hurting but to make sure i tilted my head forward while doing so as to not swallow it. i followed his instructions and the crown was back in place! he then informed me he didnt think i should sleep with it in my mouth because i might have really bad luck and swallow it, the next set of instructions included wax and hot water. where i was to get wax i did not know but i told him i would find it. the nice man said that if it was hurting more in an hour or so to call him back and he would see me that very night, how nice! but first i needed to find some wax to fill the gaping hole.

this is where jessica and i started the wild goose chase all around town looking for some dang paroffin wax. walmart? not according to their associates who dont know a dang thing. walgreens? nope. big lots? closed. smiths? not any in sight. lins? no way jose. but wait! the bright idea to ask someone pops into our heads. John, the nice night stock man, says he thinks they do and leads us to the other side of the store. i told him he better not be getting my hopes up for nothing. it was then that it was found! joy to the world! who would have thought to look in the canning section? not i, nor jessica. nor anyone at any of the other stores we looked at.

we headed home to hit the sack but only after a stop at maverick for some mint and strawberry ice cream which, surprisingly, is quite tastey mixed. i cut a tiny piece of wax of the very large brick and dropped it in a little cup of hot water. it softened right up and i shoved it in my mouth where my dental appliance should have still been.

i feared i wouldnt wake up this fine morning because of the very large amount of aleve i took (according to the nice mans instructions) or because of the piece of wax becoming disloged and obstructing my airway while i slumbered.

luckily for you neither of those things happened.

and now i have a very large brick of wax and a dentist appointment this afternoon.

joy? i thought so

post edit: that toothie of mine is cemented properly back in its place thanks to one Dr. Brown. it took the man a good 5 minutes to get it off just to put it back on, i must have done a seriously good job of getting that bad boy back in place so i could eat some well deserved cake after chemistry this morning.