{don't fall and break your hip}

I, Lauren, am significantly older than my roommates. They have found it in their dear hearts to take up mocking me about it. Lovely. I am now the resident old maid. I kinda dig it actually.

Anyway, I figured I would let you in on what this old lady did today. I mean, I would want to know what old ladies did if I wasn't already one. Luckily I get to experience the old lady happenings up close and personal. Be jealous.

This morning started bright and early with a nice bout of Dr. Sailor Mouth. He gave us a packet, as he usually does, and commanded us to answer al the questions and then we could go. 20 minutes later he asked if we were done because he wanted to go to breakfast. An hour later he gave us a break and then answered all the questions for us. Rad. But of course we had already answered all the questions (thanks to google and wikipedia). That means we got out an hour early which. was. awesome.

Espeically when I walked outside and saw this:

Do you know my favorite part of it snowing in May? Facebook EXPLODES with 'omg why is it snowing?' and 'what the heck? its may' and 'why in the world is there SNOW on the ground?'. Here is the thing kids, and I know since I have been around for many many moons. You live in Utah. Snow in May is pretty normal. Get your bad self over it.

Upon arrival at the homestead it was decided upon that while one little roommate went to lunch with a boy (I know, right?) that the other and I would go on a mad shopping spree. One hour and 6 stops later we spent a whopping $1.95. On a cinnamon roll. For the roommate. Don't even worry about it.

And then this old lady snuggled up on the couch and read a book. Because that is what old ladies do. But don't even worry: The book was an assignment from Dr. Sailor Mouth so it's not like I was choosing to do it, or maybe I was. Anyway, if you want to be hip like this old lady and read what's happening these days you can read along with me. The book in question? Anatomy of an Illness as Perceived by the Patient.

After much lounging around reading said book I figured I should try to hold off the osteoparosis, hypertention, cerebrovascular accident, myocardial infarction, and sarcopenia that I am sure will strike any moment -- due to my age -- for just a little longer.

So I packed up my backpack turned gym bag and walked myself on over to the Physical Education building. Definitely my fave on campus. I spend a lot of time there. Making my way into the locker room I caught a glimpse of my bad self in the mirror and thought:

Dang girl old lady, you rock those sweats!

And after much physical exertion in my favorite place on earth -- not to be confused with the happiest place on earth -- I rinsed myself right off and snapped this for your viewing pleasure (see dad? we need one of those pools!) right before some dumb little girl barged in on my near naked body. Yeah, whatev. No biggie. Old ladies don't care about stuff like that. Plus I'm suuuper comfy with my body.

After much physical exertion I was famished. What does an old lady have for dinner anyway? Oh, you know, just a nice salad with a grilled chicken breast. And a grilled artichoke. That's right, artichoke.

For the record, tomorrow I'm going to be even older. I probably should go pick out my casket and head stone, death is on my door step. According to my roommates.