{my world is full of loveliness}

Maybe you didn't know this, but it's almost my birthday. In but a mere weeks time I shall be one year closer to being a single old spinster for the rest of my life. How joyous an occasion! In honor of such celebrations, and so you all can stop asking since you are all dying to know, I have compiled a list of gifts that you can at any time feel free to adorn me with. Afterall, not only is it my birthday but I'm also a college graduate. It's a 2-4-1. Righto.

This morning whilst I was visiting with the shaman boyfriend getting my energies realigned he prophetically and profoundly proclaimed the following:

"you weren't born to be second in command of someone elses destroyer. you were born to be the captain of your own battle ship"

Very wise, that man is.

until he opened his mouth and told me to enjoy this "season of submission" because someday I would be the boss. Little does he know, I'm already the boss. People just don't know it yet. Go ahead and call me boss if you want.

Anyway, his comment about my own battle ship caused me deep self reflection, at which point I came to the following conclusion:

For my birthday I would like a battleship. Like unto the following

Seriously, think of the parties we could have on that thing. Woah baby!

However, if I'm gonna have a battleship I'm gonna need to relocate so that I can get the battleship out whenever the need arises. Therefore I will need a beach house.

And seriously you guys, no battleship captain can have 15 year old boy acne and be taken seriously. That is why I will need the following. Buckets full of it would be most appropriate, seeing as this face of mine doesn't seem to be wanting to clear up anytime soon.

And how I am supposed to get to the grocery store/pick you up from the airport when you come to visit me at my beach house unless I have a Range Rover to ride around in style in? I wouldn't accept anything less than the very best for my daddy's little princess.

My fore-mothers who fought for equal rights for women would be rolling in their graves if they heard me say this (so maybe don't tell them, k?) but it is of my person belief that girls shouldn't drive, and if you want someday I'll tell you all about my philosophy on that. The only reason I drive right now is because I have no one to drive me around. Yet seeing as it is my day of birth I think this would be an appropriate time for you to get me a chauffer/soul mate. Particularly in the form of my Boo.

*swoon*. But seriously.

And just because I know how generous you all are, please feel free to drape me in diamonds. Diamond rings, diamond earrings, diamond grills, diamond encrusted flasks. Maybe not diamond necklaces because I don't really like necklaces. However, if that is all you can come up with I'll graciously accept the necklace as well. I'm not that picky when it comes to diamonds. I'll even take lose diamonds.

I'm also a little concerned for how my handy dandy little piece of electronic joy would hold up on the battleship/beach/range rover/hanging with my gangsta. We wouldn't want it to get broken. Hence either of the following would bring me great joy.

There are vacations to be had. No further explanation is needed. Feel free to purchase plane tickets for my own personal use. Florida would be my destination of choice, thank you. Only don't look too close since I'm defo not Roger and I don't want to go to LA. Word.



Incase your tastes are a little less extreme (code for you don't love me enough to endulge me in any of the above) I could seriously use some new nail color. My fingers and toes are getting a little tired of the same old same old 59 colors I have been using for the last too long.

I also seriously could go for a birthday snow cone. But don't be thinking that it can come from just anywhere. Nay my friends, there are only certain places one can obtain a snow cone delicious enough to please me on my birthday. Or any other day for that matter. Don't worry though, if you need some tips as to where to get such a snow cone just let me know and i'll nonchalantly point you in the right direction.

Not to be a snob or anything, but if somebody (heads up big sister, this one is probs gonna fall to you) doesn't take me to Sonic for happy hour of my big day, there might be serious fits thrown. I can taste/feel the delicious nector of the gods already.

And last but not least.

Now, I know some of you have serious issues with me even thinking that I could possibly want and *gasp!* vocalize something like unto this for my birthday. To you I say haters gonna hate. Stick it in your juice box and suck on it for a while because it's been on my birthday wish list since the begining of time and will be until my mortal existance (and possibly after) runs out and no one wants to hear you cry about why I shouldn't want it as bad as I want my battleship and Nelly for my very own.

Drum roll please....

A baby brother.

Oh, and now you're wondering how these gifts can be placed in my possession? Good thing I read minds, right? Turns out there is a surprise party happening for yours truely (Seriously, it's a surprise so don't ruin it) next Saturday at 6:05 (precisely) at the home of my parents. Come. It won't be the same without you.



*Disclaimer: when my mom becomes seriously offended by my stating the desire of my heart to have a baby brother I'll stop asking. But until then.