{brain capacity}

incase you werent aware, im not really the sharpest crayon in the box. in fact, im not really very sharp at all. i have had zero ability of learning anything new since about the fourth grade. i'm not even 100% sure how i graduated from high school and for that matter, even got into college. but here i find myself day after day doing things that only smart people should do, and for the most part getting away with it. take for example Chem Lab. its very fun but it goes right over my head. if it turns a funny color i like it, if it requires math skills, i cant do it. thankfully i have a pretty rad lab partner by the name of Gabrielle. she also happens to be my roommate. so far this semester she has been holding my hand during chemistry and the lab just so i dont run from the room screaming in sheer terror caused by all the knowledge dr Z* throws at us. she's a good friend, but thats beside the point. as we were walking out of Chem Lab this morning (we dominated) i commented on the large size of her backpack and then realized that mine was about a quarter the size of hers. check it out:

this caused me to ponder how my not so full back pack and her overflowing one is kind of like our brain capacity. her brain is SO big, its probably going to start leaking information any day now. where as mine is a little bit on the small side and needs more in it, but i couldnt put a whole lot more in if i tried (its a small backpack, folks) because of the other things that are in it. like snacks. i need snacks. today its a fiber one bar, string cheese, and some crackers. i also need some flash cards in case i learn something i need to write down in a flash. a calculator is also contained within for those times my brain cant compute fast enough to keep up with the likes of Gabby. today the backpack also contains: one chemistry binder, one cluinary accordian folder, and one biology lab manual. and thats it. i should have brought books for the classes today but i was much to lazy (maybe laziness has something to do with my lack of brain capacity). i also carry my wallet in case someone wants to see some ID or if i go to costa vida and need my punch card. and we cant forget the random smashed up papers that fill the bottom of my bag from many classes past.

its those things that are most important. those things need to take up room in there. they are random, but they're needed. like the random information that fills my brain (probably taking up all the needed space to learn chemistry) such as:
-our eyes are the same size from the day we are born until the day we die.
-but, our noses keep on a-growin'
-Columbia University is the second largest land owner in New York, only after the Catholic Church.
-Stewardesses is the longest word that can be typed with the left hand.
-111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 (math, woah!)
-birds need gravity to swallow. they would die if they went to space.
-underground is the only ensligh word that begins and ends with 'und'
-when a frog throws up it throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of its mouth. The frog then uses its little hands to get out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again. gross
-Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
-when you're dehydrated the thirst mechanism turns off.
-Every time you sneeze some of your braincells die. (if that happened when you hicup i would be a gonner).
and there you have it. would you like to know more? because i could enlighten you.

that is where all my brain capacity has gone, to useless knowledge. like the useless things in my backpack. it may be full, but just know that when Gabby starts leaking information im going to pick it up and put it in my pockets. and then im going to start sticking it down my shirt, and in my mouth, and anywhere else her smarts will fit.