Showing posts with label lifeguard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lifeguard. Show all posts
4/1/09
3/15/09
{joy and joyness}
sorry for my absence
i was doing a whole lot of this:
this guy got himself into a predicament including but not limited to a spinal injury.
this picture has got nothing on my skills, spinals in 13ft are a real party.
speaking of which, i pulled one off yesterday morning.
I even sunk right to the bottom to grab the kid in a chin/head hold.
It was like, waoh. waoh to the extreme
good thing i saved his butt and passed my test
that means im the real stinkin' thing
as in just call me Wendy Peffercorn
3/10/09
{to sink or not to sink}
i have a problem. a very large one.
i cannot sink
i float like its no body's business. i try and try and try but it just wont happen.
i get about 9 feet down and then its right back to the top again
one might consider this to be a good thing, and it may well be...
i get about 9 feet down and then its right back to the top again
one might consider this to be a good thing, and it may well be...
until you're trying to pull your lifeguard teacher off the bottom of the pool.
she causes me great distress.
she causes me great distress.
she is a third my size so it should be easy right? wrong
she puts one toe in the water and she's already at the bottom just hanging out waiting to be saved.
yesterday as i was practicing my life saving skills i couldnt reach far enough down to get ahold around her chest so i did the next best thing. i grabbed her wrist and pulled her up until i could properly save my victim. she lived!
but i did it wrong.
which is totally lame because as long as they are being saved it shouldnt matter how it is done.
am i right?
am i right?
i thought so.
***
***
i must retract my earlier made statement about not being able to sink
i can sink alright
as long as im jumping in the water with one of these bad boys:
i can sink alright
as long as im jumping in the water with one of these bad boys:
seriously? who does that?
me.
i sink straight to the bottom if im holding onto one of these...
its an odd phenomenon
me.
i sink straight to the bottom if im holding onto one of these...
its an odd phenomenon
3/7/09
{rant of the day}
this snowy saturday morning while i was at the swimming hole busting a sweat i noticed a man leading a handful of small children (probably ages 4-8) over to the diving boards. i watched them out of the corner of my eye as i full on watched the dashing young man in the lane next to me finish up his triatholon (which i totally would have done but i didnt want to show everyone up, im just nice like that). anyway, back to the man with the kids. he takes them over to the diving board, jumps in the water and declares that they are all going to jump of the diving board.
child 1 jumps off but then its child 2's turn. she gets up on the diving board and slowly walks to the end. all the while the dad is in the water egging her on. she gets to the end of the board and freezes (a perfectly normal reaction for anyone who has never done it). i could tell she was trying to work her way up to it but she was pretty dang scared. infact, i am almost positive she would have done it if she had had just a minute more to talk herself into it. but no, there was mr dad of the year down there yelling at her (literally yelling, i had my handy dandy water resistent ear plugs in and i could still hear him) that she had to do it right then. she started to back up on the board and the dad went all but balistic. and that was when she started to cry. really? was it seriously necessary to make her cry over not jumping off the diving board?
its scary. not only are you 4 feet above the water but you can see clear down to the bottom of the pool 13 feet below. incase you cant do the math that adds up to a very large 17 feet, and thats all you see. the 17 feet there is until you hit the bottom. when youre on the diving board for the first 37 times its hard to remember that you are only 4 feet above the water when you can see clear to the bottom.
i dont blame her.
after she got off the diving board in tears (and the guard told him maybe she should start on the side of the pool) he demanded that she jump to him from the side. first of all, thats just stupid. it doesnt take a lifeguarding class to realize that catching someone in water you are treading in is not the brightest of ideas... but she jumped anyway. and he didnt catch her. when she came to the surface he scooped her up, set her on the side and told her to do it again, but this time to jump farther. all the while he is praising the son who keeps jumping off the board and telling him how cool he is for jumping into the deep end. now the girl is crying even more and the dad is yelling at her that if she doesnt stop crying she has to sit on the bench for the rest of the time they are there. so she jumps in again. he gets her back out of the water and continues to harass her about going off the diving board.
it was at this point i wanted to swim over there and smack him in the face with a dang kickboard.
but i resisted
violence is overrated
instead i should have given him a brochure on the benefits of swimming lessons. and maybe one on why he is an idiot. but i didnt have any on hand.
im not sure if she ever did jump of that dang diving board. i dont know if any of them did except for child 1, he was the only one i actually saw. but it was only child 2 he felt the need to yell at. poor girl.
does this bother anyone else? our am i just being rediculous and should shut up because i dont have kids and dont know what its like?
you tell me.
child 1 jumps off but then its child 2's turn. she gets up on the diving board and slowly walks to the end. all the while the dad is in the water egging her on. she gets to the end of the board and freezes (a perfectly normal reaction for anyone who has never done it). i could tell she was trying to work her way up to it but she was pretty dang scared. infact, i am almost positive she would have done it if she had had just a minute more to talk herself into it. but no, there was mr dad of the year down there yelling at her (literally yelling, i had my handy dandy water resistent ear plugs in and i could still hear him) that she had to do it right then. she started to back up on the board and the dad went all but balistic. and that was when she started to cry. really? was it seriously necessary to make her cry over not jumping off the diving board?
its scary. not only are you 4 feet above the water but you can see clear down to the bottom of the pool 13 feet below. incase you cant do the math that adds up to a very large 17 feet, and thats all you see. the 17 feet there is until you hit the bottom. when youre on the diving board for the first 37 times its hard to remember that you are only 4 feet above the water when you can see clear to the bottom.
i dont blame her.
after she got off the diving board in tears (and the guard told him maybe she should start on the side of the pool) he demanded that she jump to him from the side. first of all, thats just stupid. it doesnt take a lifeguarding class to realize that catching someone in water you are treading in is not the brightest of ideas... but she jumped anyway. and he didnt catch her. when she came to the surface he scooped her up, set her on the side and told her to do it again, but this time to jump farther. all the while he is praising the son who keeps jumping off the board and telling him how cool he is for jumping into the deep end. now the girl is crying even more and the dad is yelling at her that if she doesnt stop crying she has to sit on the bench for the rest of the time they are there. so she jumps in again. he gets her back out of the water and continues to harass her about going off the diving board.
it was at this point i wanted to swim over there and smack him in the face with a dang kickboard.
but i resisted
violence is overrated
instead i should have given him a brochure on the benefits of swimming lessons. and maybe one on why he is an idiot. but i didnt have any on hand.
im not sure if she ever did jump of that dang diving board. i dont know if any of them did except for child 1, he was the only one i actually saw. but it was only child 2 he felt the need to yell at. poor girl.
does this bother anyone else? our am i just being rediculous and should shut up because i dont have kids and dont know what its like?
you tell me.
3/6/09
{my own horror movie: take one}
you know when something happens and all you can think about is that if the situation were a scary movie this is when the psycho would jump out of the closet and kill you? take for example, walking into the house and not turning on the lights. thats always when the girl gets kidnapped or finds a message written in blood on the walls, it just never ends good. but we still walk into the house without turning on the lights or checking behind the door. however, last night topped every 'if i was in a scary movie this would be a really bad place to be' experience i have ever had. let me take you on a little journey through time to see what happened.
last night after my lifeguard class got out i stopped to put gas in the car and then at the grocery store to pick up some stuff i needed for lunches for the coming week. i also grabbed a diet mt dew because its an awfully long drive back to my designated living quarters. i hopped on the freeway (not really, i drove) and was on my way. now if you are familiar with my vehicle you know it isnt as pretty and doesnt go as fast as the other cars on the freeway but it works. just outside of the big city when the speed limit goes back up to 75mph i set my cruise control and was on my way. i was doing a little jamming to the bsb when i put my blinker on to pass the nice man in a speedy looking sports car (seriously, if im passing you you know youre going to slow). i ever so gently manueverd my way into the left lane, and thats when i heard it. the sound of death. or more like a really odd clicky noise that i thought was coming from mr slowpants. about 2.7 seconds later i realized it was actually coming from my poor car. i quickly pulled back into the right lane and got off the freeway at the next available exit. i didnt quite realize what i was doing until the car shut off on its own and i determined that it was indeed very dark outside. i held my composure for a moment or two before looking out the window and finding this:
last night after my lifeguard class got out i stopped to put gas in the car and then at the grocery store to pick up some stuff i needed for lunches for the coming week. i also grabbed a diet mt dew because its an awfully long drive back to my designated living quarters. i hopped on the freeway (not really, i drove) and was on my way. now if you are familiar with my vehicle you know it isnt as pretty and doesnt go as fast as the other cars on the freeway but it works. just outside of the big city when the speed limit goes back up to 75mph i set my cruise control and was on my way. i was doing a little jamming to the bsb when i put my blinker on to pass the nice man in a speedy looking sports car (seriously, if im passing you you know youre going to slow). i ever so gently manueverd my way into the left lane, and thats when i heard it. the sound of death. or more like a really odd clicky noise that i thought was coming from mr slowpants. about 2.7 seconds later i realized it was actually coming from my poor car. i quickly pulled back into the right lane and got off the freeway at the next available exit. i didnt quite realize what i was doing until the car shut off on its own and i determined that it was indeed very dark outside. i held my composure for a moment or two before looking out the window and finding this:
disclaimer: no there was not a person running towards me (at least not that i saw) but it really was this scary.
very scary looking trees and a lot of bushes and tall grass (the perfect place to hide a murder victim). i called my dad and started to freak a little. or possibly a lot, i'll let you decide. he then proceded to tell me to get out of the car to check the oil. get out of the car? im not sure if he remembered it was 9:30pm, dark outside, and that i was in the middle of nowhere. however i do trust my father so i did as was told and used my keychain light to see. i stuck my hand under the latchy thing but the latchy thing was nowhere to be found. seriously. it was gone. like gone gone. i got back in the car and got all crazy emotional again. we hung up so he could call the relatives that live nearest. as i was sitting there all i could think about was Brigham City... and Karen (think: Watcher in The Woods). i calmed myself together and called my roommate to come save me from the depths of dispair. unfortunetly i couldnt remember what exit i got off. being the good roommate that she is she hoped in the car and came looking for me. in the meantime i had a bawl fest with my mom, singing time withe Meg, and catching up time with my aunt and uncle who came all the way out just to wait with me while a roommate came to haul my butt back home. but the saddest part (next to having just filled her up with gas) was waiving good bye to the poor old car...
but this time good conquered the evil of the dark unknown.
the first half hour was probably the most terrifying 30 minutes of my life. seriously, scary movie worthy. especially the part when i leafs startes blowing around. and then there was the odd scratching sound on the door. but i survived!
...unlike paris hilton in house of wax.
3/2/09
{kicking some boo-tay}
guess who passed the swim your guts out and try not to drown while picking up a brick off the bottom of the pool test?
youre right, twas I.
and then i learned a lot of other super great crap that is useful when saving someones life.
like the fact that an intoxicated will not sober up by swimming.
and there is an instinctive drowing reflex that everyone has. but i forget what it looks like.
and freak, dont fall asleep in the chair.
but the most important part of todays learning experience is that i may or may not spend the summer doing this:
i can only wait.
youre right, twas I.
and then i learned a lot of other super great crap that is useful when saving someones life.
like the fact that an intoxicated will not sober up by swimming.
and there is an instinctive drowing reflex that everyone has. but i forget what it looks like.
and freak, dont fall asleep in the chair.
but the most important part of todays learning experience is that i may or may not spend the summer doing this:
i can only wait.
2/6/09
{I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!}
did you miss me? cause i totally missed you!
sorry i left so abruptly. we were doing this thing called a media fast for missionary week at the institution. our tv stayed off for like 6 whole days. waoh.
but enought about that. we have some serious catching up to do.
want to know what i did this week while i was away? i shall tell you:
want to know what i did this week while i was away? i shall tell you:
in honor of the media fast we only listened to music that was uplifting and joyful.
after exhausting the resources we got down to business with some serious southern gospel singers.
i present to you Selah. they are AMAZING! all sorts of Hallelujahs going on there.
you can check out one of my favorite songs here
after exhausting the resources we got down to business with some serious southern gospel singers.
i present to you Selah. they are AMAZING! all sorts of Hallelujahs going on there.
you can check out one of my favorite songs here
i also took up swimming in hopes of becoming the next Wendy Peppercorn. for realsies.
if you want something good to laugh at join me at the pool @6am. i'll be there.
I made my very first fondant cake and boy, was it yumm-o!
nothing is better than cutting in to a pretty cake only to find an even prettier fun fetti!
nothing is better than cutting in to a pretty cake only to find an even prettier fun fetti!
my feet shrunk to midget size.
jk. i just happened to put my chacos next to the giant mr banks' shoes. it made me laugh so i took a picture to show you!
i did more chemistry than i have ever done in my whole entire life. and i think i get it
(knock on wood)
i'll let you know how my test goes on monday.
HotPockets went on sale for 3/$2 and we stocked up.
you would not imagine the number of HotPockets being cooked in this house.
i think i broke my second metarsal, but that has yet to be confirmed.
and i have an earache that feels more like an ear infections. thats yet to be confirmed as well.
I did some serious ChemLab work with my buddy/roommate Gabby.
we are SO good at ChemLab, we totally kick boo-tay!
(thats a bunson burner in the background. im not sure who let the two of us do such dangerous things but we totally got it going on the first try. clear flame and all. it was sweet.)
i had a bought with a nasty stomache bug but luckily it only lasted one day
and my FRoomie, Jessica bought me cinnamon bears AND made my bed.
i'll tell you what, she's one of a kind.
and my bed fell of the cinderblocks. while i was on it.
and all Jessica did was laugh. and then laughed some more.
it really wasnt that funny but i forgave her because of aforementioned kindness.
i'll let you know how my test goes on monday.
HotPockets went on sale for 3/$2 and we stocked up.
you would not imagine the number of HotPockets being cooked in this house.
i think i broke my second metarsal, but that has yet to be confirmed.
and i have an earache that feels more like an ear infections. thats yet to be confirmed as well.
I did some serious ChemLab work with my buddy/roommate Gabby.
we are SO good at ChemLab, we totally kick boo-tay!
(thats a bunson burner in the background. im not sure who let the two of us do such dangerous things but we totally got it going on the first try. clear flame and all. it was sweet.)
i had a bought with a nasty stomache bug but luckily it only lasted one day
and my FRoomie, Jessica bought me cinnamon bears AND made my bed.
i'll tell you what, she's one of a kind.
and my bed fell of the cinderblocks. while i was on it.
and all Jessica did was laugh. and then laughed some more.
it really wasnt that funny but i forgave her because of aforementioned kindness.
and she helped me put it back .
what did you do while i was gone? anything exciting?
i totally want to know all about it. so please, enlighten me.
but now i must depart to prepare myself for the
BREAK THE MEDIA FAST DANCE!
but now i must depart to prepare myself for the
BREAK THE MEDIA FAST DANCE!
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